Seven Ways to Be Your Spouse's Best Friend
By Bruce S. Riley, LMFT
Guess what? You and your spouse can be best friends. Some people think that it is not proper for a man & a woman, who are best friends to get married. In my opinion, I think best friends make the best spouses. You are not losing your best friend, but rather gaining a lifetime partner. If you are not best friends, here’s how you can make it happen.
1. Like him - Like her.
That’s right. Take a greater interest in what makes your spouse who they are. Explore things that you find exciting, enjoyable, or fascinating that draws you closer. Then share what you like and say “I like you”.
2. Have more fun together.
Take some of those things that you like about each other and make it a date so you can enjoy some of those things together. Go over your list of things that you both enjoy and decide which ones you you’re going to do more. Think about it, you can actually have fun with the one you are married to.
3. Learn their complete story, and Love them anyway.
Continue to explore who you are married to: their dreams, their growing up, loves, hurts, pains, fears, ambitions, memories, needs, and wants. With this new information, give them your support, strength, prayers, cards, letters, hugs, and kisses. Make your spouse feel like the most blessed person on earth because they have you.
4. Tell them why they are your best friend
Emphasize by your words what this relationship means to you. In short, most couples don’t tell each other enough of what they have. Express how they make you feel. If you value their love, how much? If they do things for you, how so? Say why this love is so special.
5. Do the unexpected.
Do something that is clearly above and beyond the Call of Duty; Give something just because; Help out in a way that clearly is going out of your way; Cook that favorite meal on a weekday; Write a love letter that nearly brings them to tears; or plan a surprise trip that you know they have always wanted.
6. Extend grace & forgiveness.
Perhaps you have been hurt by something said or done. As a best friend, you express your disappointment, but recover quickly by smiling and creating an atmosphere that says “It’s over, now let’s move on”. Also, tell you friend why you choose to forgive - “Because you are my best friend” This statement puts a measure of responsibility upon the offender that he/she will never want to deliberately hurt again.
7. Put them first.
Best friends prioritize their relationship to the extent that they always stay in close contact with each other, keep each other in mind when making big decisions, share their thoughts daily, look out for each other’s welfare, and always care about how the other is feeling. Finally, as a best friend, you give the more support than anyone else.
