By Bruce S. Riley, LMFT
It’s been my experience that many people are marrying to soon. It’s has nothing to do with age or maturity. But it does have to do with sex. The people that primarily engage in sex prior to their marriage are more likely to have a shorter marriage than those who wait until marriage to have sex.
In a recent survey from “facts.randomhistory.com”
The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%.
After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared with 62% for cohabitations.
Yes, I know that many people may not be cohabiting or living together, but because of living a sexualized lifestyle, the relational impact emotionally is about the same. Some may have great difficulty resisting their sexual desires in a close relationship. But shouldn’t the focus be on building a better understanding and knowledge of the other person? I think you should know more than how good the other person is in bed.
- How well do you communicate?
- How are your problem-solving skills?
- Sexual history (Interests, habits, addictions, STD’S
- Values
- Relational resume’ (how long and why)
- Emotional strength – How does this person handle pressure?
- Financial history (credit history, attitudes about money, working, etc.)
It is truly worth the wait to make sure that you and the person you want to marry meet certain criteria requirements before saying “I do”.
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