I have been reading a lot of stories of people who have suffered broken hearts through various ways, including betrayal, abuse, breakups, etc. Even I have had to recover from the broken heart experienced with my relationship with my father, which was one of neglect. You see, we all have a story.
Whether the story has a happy ending or not depends on whether you allow the healing to take place. It’s not automatic; it takes some effort. But healing is possible. Here’s what I learned that helped me heal:
1. I learned that I love deeply; that I needed to feel loved; and that I have the capacity to share that love with others, not just my father.
2. Although I felt the pain of love’s betrayal, it did not exhaust my love. I have love left.
3. Only the expression of love helps heal a broken heart. 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
4. I learned that some people don’t allow themselves the freedom to love unconditionally, and therefore, are unable to love on the highest level, which is the level of SACRIFICE. I have to realize that my father did not know, or have the ability to love on that level. It made it easier for me to forgive him…to release him from the expectation that I had.
5. I learned that I had to surrender all my feelings, including my hurts, to God. An unknown author said this, “God can heal a broken heart, but he has to have all the pieces”.
6. Finally, I had to redirect my love to those people who really matter…my wife, my children, my friends, and my mother and siblings. They are the ones who gave me love, so they are the ones who deserved it. You see, it doesn’t make sense to waste love on someone who can’t or won’t receive it. LOVE THE ONES WHO LOVE YOU!
Dr. Bruce
